Wondering how to plan the perfect LGBTQ proposal? You’ve come to the right place for answers!
As an LGBTQ couple, you likely have lots of questions around how to actually propose, who wants to propose to whom, what should be a part of your proposal, etc. The good news is that this moment can look however you want. There are no hard and fast rules that you have to follow, and you can throw tradition out the window and make this special moment uniquely yours and your partner’s!
Read on to learn more about planning your proposal, and take a look at this recent elaborate queer San Francisco proposal that I’m still obsessing over because it was absolutely amazing!
A Perfect Lesbian Surprise Proposal in San Francisco Planned by the Yes Girls
Searching for inspiration on how to plan a totally over-the-top, heartfelt proposal where you pull out all the stops and completely surprise your partner? Here’s a behind-the-lens look at Nicole and Rachael’s incredible proposal that I had the chance to photograph!
Before the proposal
Nicole reached out to me because she wanted to propose to her girlfriend, and I was thrilled when she asked me to be her photographer! I knew from our first consult call that this was going to be an epic evening.
Nicole knew from the very beginning she wanted this to be an elaborate, grand gesture and wanted to make this an unforgettable experience for both her and Rachael.
She worked with the amazing Yes Girls (highly recommend them if you’re looking for a proposal planner) and me to set the plan in motion, and also to make sure Rachael would be completely surprised on the evening when she was planning to propose.
We made this all happen by having Rachael under the pretense that on the evening of the proposal, they were going to a rooftop sushi-making class at BiteUnite in San Francisco. It worked perfectly, as Rachael was completely unsuspecting of what was going to happen!
The proposal
Rachael and Nicole arrived at BiteUnite and headed up to the rooftop. Rachael was shocked when they turned the corner and… waiting for them were their closest friends and family, and an all-female a cappella group called The Loosies serenading them!
Rachael and Nicole both got so emotional that Nicole actually forgot to walk Rachael over to the opulent flower arch that was made for the proposal, and instead, she proposed right in the middle of the courtyard on the rooftop with a gorgeous vintage ladybug ring box. It was all so emotional, beautiful, and heartfelt, and everyone was feeling ALL the feels!
After the proposal
After Nicole proposed, everyone hugged and shared in the excitement, and we took some photos among the gorgeous floral arch and arrangements created by the one and only Scarborough Affair.
Nicole also showed Rachael the mini bouquets that were handed to them by each singer, which were embroidered with a reason Nicole loves her – how romantic is that?
Then everyone started dancing as they all basked in this special moment until it was time to go downstairs and take the actual sushi-making class all together.
I loved being a part of this proposal, and special moments like these make me so grateful that I get to call this my job!
Vendors for Nicole and Rachael’s Proposal
I wanted to give a special shout-out to all the amazing vendors who made this surprise proposal possible:
Planner: The Yes Girls
Florals: Scarborough Affair
A Cappella Group: Loose Interpretations (aka the Loosies)
Cooking Class: BiteUniteSF
Tips for Planning an Unforgettable LGBTQ+ Proposal
When it comes to planning your proposal, there are a few different options you can choose from: whether you want to plan a double proposal, a surprise proposal, or decide if only one of you is going to propose to the other!
Psst… looking for tips specifically on how to plan a surprise proposal? Check out another post I wrote all about how to do it here!
Here are my top tips on how to plan your LGBTQ+ Proposal:
Discuss it first with your partner
My first piece of advice is to always discuss your proposal with your partner to make sure that you are both on the same page in your relationship and that this is the next step you are both ready to take. It’s best to have an open and honest conversation about what you both want.
As an LGBTQ+ couple, during this conversation, you can both discuss how you want the proposal to happen and consider the idea of a double-proposal! Double-proposals can be so much fun and allow you to really celebrate each other individually.
I love the stories I capture of two partners surprising each other and choosing to propose at the same time, but just because you’re planning a double proposal doesn’t mean it has to happen on the same date and time. Rather, you can plan a special day for each other separately, tailored to exactly what your partner wants. Fun fact – that’s what my wife and I chose to do! We each got our special moment to say YES, and got an opportunity to get down on one knee.
Decide where to propose, what to wear, and if you’re going to include props!
Deciding where to propose, what to wear, and what’s going to be a part of your proposal are all very important details that you’ll definitely want to spend some time thinking about and planning before the day of your proposal!
Location is a very significant part of the proposal, and when it comes to what to wear, I’d recommend wearing whatever feels most like you – your proposal doesn’t need to be performative, it’s not a moment to pretend to be someone that you’re not.
When it comes to props and decor, I love both, but they aren’t an absolute must-have for your proposal. However, if you do include them, I’d recommend adding in some sentimental, meaningful items like photos of you and your partner, your partner’s favorite flowers, or a symbolic token of your relationship!
Decide if you’re going to include loved ones and friends
Do you want your friends and family to be there for the proposal? The decision is totally up to you and your partner – there’s no right or wrong choice! Remember, if you don’t want loved ones or friends to be part of this moment, you can always celebrate with them afterward. That way, you can have some privacy while having them still be a part of your proposal day.
If you choose to include loved ones and friends, you’ll need to figure out in advance what role they’re going to play in the proposal. This is where it’s so helpful to have a proposal planner assist you. Trust me, they’ll make everything wayyy easier and less stressful for you!
Hire an affirming photographer
The photographer you choose for your proposal should make you feel safe, supported, and celebrated.
One of the biggest reasons to choose an affirming photographer is to work with someone who is already a part of your community, especially when it comes to LGBTQ+ couples who may be worried about safety or having to educate their photographer.
Personally, I believe that it’s much more fun to work with someone who is also a member of the LGBTQ+ community. You’ll also be working with someone who wants you to feel comfortable, fully express yourself, and who will remove any external pressure or expectations of what your relationship “should” look like. They’ll see you the way you see yourself!
Ready to Plan Your LGBTQ+ Proposal?
I hope you found all this info on planning an LGBTQ+ proposal + inspo helpful!
And…if you’re in the Bay Area, looking for a photographer who specializes in photos of love, surprise proposals, and engagements, feel free to reach out here. I’ll fully support your nontraditional ideas and celebrate you wholeheartedly! I can’t wait to learn more about your vision and all the ideas you have in mind.
Read these next:
How to Plan a Surprise San Francisco Proposal: Tips From a Photographer
Different Wedding Photography Editing Styles and How to Choose the Perfect One for Your Wedding
